BY Funmi Aboderin

Hurt People! Hurt people! Not by choice but because all they know is what they feel and all they feel is pain.

Sometimes, we expect too much from those we love; we often give them our everything in relationships, and when things don’t turn out the way they should/we want them to, we end up with open wounds.

When we finally gather the strength to leave we come out in broken pieces… confused and hurt.

We constantly replay the painful memories in our heads, and because we are not able to get past these painful thoughts, we decide to keep ourselves busy. Mostly looking for things to mask the pain.

Often times, we believe finding another man/woman to mask this pain takes the painful memories away, so we find someone; sometimes anyone, that would listen to you cry, say all the right things to you and make you happy once again. We decide to try again, hoping this time around this one will be different.

So we try, we try to be happy and we try to love but our insecurities creep in because the wounds from the past are still open. We subconsciously assume our current relationship is like our past relationship so we treat it the same way. We disbelieve everything our lover says to us, we assume he/she is being disloyal or cheating and we become so bitter.

This bitterness affects our interaction in our current relationships; we become insecure, rude and spiteful. This hurts our current partners. And if or when things do not work out we leave them hurt, just like we are.

It’s important to deal with your pain and embrace the process before getting into a new relationship. It’s crucial to heal completely from the pain because getting into another relationship does not remove the pain. We have to face our pain by understanding our current state of mind, focus on thinking positively, cutting off people that bring us pain and most importantly praying to God about it.

He will heal you. It might take a while, but His timing is the best and there is honestly no rush.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” – Matthew 11:28

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