The Difference Between Wanting To And Being Ready To Love

BY Funmi Aboderin||

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One thing I have realized through personal experience and my observation of people is that God is responsible for your happiness.

As humans, we love the idea of love as its part of our nature, but sometimes we fail to understand the difference between just wanting to love and actually being ready to love.

When you just want to love, the idea of having a significant other makes you happy, having someone to share stories with, spend countless hours talking to and even taking cute pictures together. Just knowing that there is someone out there that cares so deeply about you overwhelms you with joy.

The constant exhibition of public display of affection between couples, that we see both on social media and in real life fuels this idea of what ‘perfect love’ should be like. This ‘perfect love’ portrays a relationship of constant happiness with no mistakes or hard times. As we observe this we consciously or subconsciously realize we want this perceived ‘perfect love’.

Because of the constant display of the good and cute moments , we become oblivious to the hard times and problems couples face , so sometimes we wrongly assume there are none.

We consume ourselves with the idea of ‘perfect love’

When you just want to love all you see is this ‘perfect love’ But when you are ready to love you understand these two things:

  • Knowing yourself and happiness through God
  • Love is not perfect

Knowing yourself and happiness through God

How can you know a significant other if you do not know yourself?

It is important to understand the type of person you are, your dislikes, your likes in order to gain your self-confidence. To do this you need to put God first.

“If your first concern is to look after yourself, you’ll never find yourself. But if you forget about yourself and look to me, you’ll find both yourself and me.” Matthew 10:39 MSG.

Building a relationship with God allows you to understand how He sees you, builds your self-confidence, and leads to true happiness.

“You lead me in the path of life; I experience absolute joy in your presence; you always give me sheer delight” – Psalm 16:11

I find that sometimes we fill the void that is meant for God with someone else in search of happiness and satisfaction ,but we need to understand that if you are not happy on your own, a relationship will not make you happier. It will only be a temporary distraction. You will inevitably build insecurities and paranoia.

Love is not perfect

Two different people coming together from two different backgrounds with different habits have to find a compromise somewhere in between.

Being ready to love involves being ready to be selfless… Things may not always go your way and there will be issues, but if you expect it to be easy and simple all through   , then you are not ready to love.

Point is we need to realize the difference between just wanting to love and actually being ready to love. To be ready to love means you can be secure and happy on your own with God in your life and being able to understand that love is beautiful but not easy.


Funmi Aboderin is a BA graduate from University of Durham, UK. She begins her Msc in Human Resource Management at the London School of Economics in 2015. She is also the founder and Executive at Kids Against Cancer Nigeria. Her true passion is to help coach people on pursuing healthy relationships through God.  Contact: funmilayoaboderin@hotmail.com website: www.kidsagainstcancerng.org

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Make a lot sense . Thank you for the insight .
    Impressed …

  2. Makes a lot of sense .
    Thanks for the insight
    Impressed …

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